Do you have a boss who is a bully and a tyrant, and makes your life miserable? You are not alone.
 
But how do you get out of this situation, or rather survive in this situation. Here’s a guide to help you out with the tricks and suggestions for taming your bullying boss.
 

Bullying at the workplace is one of the most prevalent and least talked of organizational problems.  
According to a study by the Employment Law Alliance, almost half of all employees have been targeted by a bully boss. The study also revealed the following:

• 81 percent of bullies are managers.
• 50 percent of bullies are women and 50 percent are men.
• 84 percent of targets are women.
• 82 percent of targets ultimately lost their job.
• 95 percent of bullying is witnessed.

If you have a boss who is a bully and a tyrant, and makes your life miserable, the above survey should comfort you somewhat knowing that you are not out there alone. What is surprising is the fact that 50% of the bullies are women - what happened to the nurturing and caring image? But whatever the surveys say, the truth is that most of us have come across such a bully at some point at the workplace; and those who haven't - consider yourself very lucky. 
 
Bullying may include such behavior as withholding important information from you, assigning impossible or unreasonable targets, repeatedly reminding you of your mistakes, ridiculing or humiliating you in connection with your work, spreading rumours or gossip about you, or tarnishing your image through insulting or offensive remarks. In the worst case, an abusive behavior may do a permanent damage on the victim's personality and therefore, it is vital to identify and deal with this problem.

Why are some bosses this way? 
Identifying an abusive employee is not too difficult. There are obnoxious bully bosses who rule by intimidation, insist on getting their way and fly off the handle easily. They treat subordinates like children and seldom ask for anyone's input. There are also the constant critics who use put-downs, insults and name-calling. They may use aggressive eye contact to intimidate. Then there are the extremely wily two-headed snakes that pretend to be nice, while all the while trying to sabotage you. And finally, there are the control freaks who ultimately want to control your ability and your image in the company.

A bullying behavior could be prompted by just about anything, from a bad day to sagging earnings to pressure from the upper management. Insecurity may also be a major cause, usually with managers who lack extensive management experience and try to use aggression as a means to assert themselves. Ofcourse, it may be possible that he just doesn't like you, but that is unlikely if his attitude is a widely known fact at your workplace. 
 
According to psychologists, there are broadly two kinds of bullies - the successful, and the unsuccessful. The unsuccessful ones won't really last long in an organization. However, it is the successful kinds that are dangerous. These people are competent and move up the ladder quickly. And this competence gives them the arrogance to harass others around them. 
 
What can you do? 
There is no fool-proof method to cope with the bullies, but there certainly are some steps that you must take to deal with these sorts.

Take stock:  
Identify the source of the problem. Before outrightly blaming the other person for his behavior, reflect on yourself and your work. Ask yourself if you have done anything to cause the ire. It is possible that you have been not a professional and productive employee for the company. If this is the case, improve yourself - the attitude of the person bullying you will surely improve. However, if this attitude is a result of the manager's personality, then it is time to do something about it.

Stay away:
You would invariably have identified a bully quite early in your acquaintances with him. The best strategy is to stay as far as possible from him. Try to remain in safe spots – near close allies, people who are less likely to be abused. Always display a positive self-image, paying close attention to your appearance and clothes. Try not to reveal too much information about your life, spouse, and children to the abuser. Personal information would give him a power over you. Excuse yourself if you are in a bullying situation – tell him you are late for an appointment, for instance. Most importantly, if you are building a case against him, do not reveal your case to anybody – news travels fast at the workplace.

Don't suffer silently:  
If you do end up getting bullied, you must never silently suffer the abuse. You don't have to declare an open war - remember, he still is your boss and holds power over your job. But angry personal confrontations are never the solution. Talking things out in a professional manner may help sort things out. Schedule a private meeting and enumerate instances of his behavior that upset you. However, it is important to do so without making any kind of accusations, otherwise you run the risk of further instigating him. This risk is something you will need to take – based on your judgment of the situation; based on a familiarity with the kind of person you are dealing with.

If this doesn’t work out, talk to the HR department in your company. But one caveat – the HR’s allegiance is to the employer, not the employee. Approach the HR with caution, and only when you are fully prepared. 
 
Bring in the personal touch:  
It is very important to tell the boss how you feel. There may be instances when the bullying behavior is not conscious and he may have a realization. Tell him all this through instances of how you felt, a body language that complements your comments, direct eye contact, and disarming statements like "I would be grateful if you did not do ...", or "I was disappointed when you ...” No matter how hurt or angry you are, courtesy is essential. Using a little humor is not a bad idea either.

Know when to quit:
Everybody has limits. And these should not be crossed. If you have an abusive manager, the situation may get out of hand if your personal life starts suffering. There may be a negative impact on your health – high-blood pressures are not unheard of; your self–esteem may suffer or you may start feeling sick at the mere thought of going to the office. Do try repairing the situation once; but if things don’t improve even then, it is time to consider sending out your resume and putting down your papers.

A bully is like a parasite that draws strength from its prey. Stop being the prey, and he will have nothing to prey upon. A boss will stop abusing you if he realizes that he does not hold any power over you. Take charge of your professional life, and never let anyone hurt your self-esteem.